I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him because his eyes got kind of wide and he just walked away.
You know what’s creepy about Humpty Dumpty?
They never said he was an egg.
all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again BECAUSE HIS BLOOD WAS GUSHING OUT OF HIS CRACKED SKULL
SOMEONE PLEASE CHANGE THE SUBJECT BEFORE THE SHERLOCK FANDOM STARTS ANGSTING.
LOOK JAWN I’M HUMPTY DUMPTY